Frustration leads to blame and judgement. What was I frustrated about? Was it everyone's else inability to understand what I was saying or was it how I was saying it?.
I came across this great blog entry by Jean-Paul Boodhoo on how to introduce agile methods to your team. I especially liked his quote
"Stop blaming other people for your inability to introduce practices and strategies that will make your team more effective"
That's exactly where I was at, I was blaming everybody for not understanding. When I look at it it comes down to the mistakes I made. I was battling frustration and that affected my communication skills.
How do you deal with frustration? Like the blog entry said, "Focus on Small Victories". I've had victories and when I look back things have changed, maybe in small way and not as much as I would like, but they have changed. When my frustration gets to much I'll just have to remember the wins I have achieved.
The other problem is that I'm still learning what it means to be 'agile', in particular I'm struggling with the place of the functional specification. I look at the effort we've been putting into a functional spec (close to 2 months now) and wonder how much of the system we could have done in that time. I realize that you need to know what you're coding before you start but what's enough? I don't know the answer.
To introduce agile into a team environment it must be done in a way that encourages but not dictates. So its my job to lead by example, be a beacon if you will and try to focus on the positives. I must also remember that mistakes will be made on the way but that is how we learn. I think I'll finish off with a quote from Mark Twain:
“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.”